A Squirrelly Situation

Breaking news coming to you live from Tanglewood Forest!

After hearing reports of COVID-19 spreading across the globe, residents of the forest began to get a little squirrely.

“We first thought only humans and bats could catch the virus. But then I received some snail mail from my third cousin 12 times removed... Nuts, Is that right? Anyway, Maddox Mink living over in Denmark warned me that I should follow orders and shelter in place. Apparently, my cuz’s friend-- Marvin Mink-- was out and about socializing, thinking the order didn't apply to him. Now he and 2.85 million fellow Minks are facing severe consequences.”

Realizing that Tanglewood Forest could be the next in line, residents gathered around the tree rings and developed a plan.

“The Tanglewood Forest neighborhood committee hired me-- Wood D. Duck-- to design and construct homes so that residents could shelter in place. For this process, I consulted with animals from the nearby Sacramento Zoo and partnered with human children as part of their arts and crafts curriculum. If you ask me, the process went swimmingly.”

All squirrels in Tanglewood Forest have now been sheltering in place for approximately nine months. They are relieved that they have not suffered the same fate as the Mink family but that doesn't mean they're out of the woods yet.

“Cases of COVID-19 are higher than ever. Also, we are at the height of the gathering season. For us essential workers, things have been nuts. We've been trying to relocate and gather as much of our food supply as we can. We are working our tails off to meet growing food insecurity needs.”

Residents ask that those with means continue to provide funding to families impacted. Moreover, they seek more clarification from health authorities around social distancing guidelines. In particular, they would like to know if they need to abide by six human feet of social distancing or if it can be six squirrel feet.